(Insert a witty play on the words 'Fitness First' here)

I am now a Fitness First member. At first I shuddered at the thought of being 'one of them.' But each time I go I feel more comfortable and am beginning to like it. Perhaps I'm becoming one of them. My initial experience at Fitness First was going in to take a deep, calming breath and to dare look upon the membership prices. But of course it wasn't as simple as being passed a costing sheet. No, I had to meet with a 'membership consultant.' She reminded me of the Friends episode, 'the one with the ballroom dancing,' where Ross and Chandler are sucked in by the attractive Maria. This membership consultant was a walking ad, 'this is what you will look like if you commit to Fitness First!' She was selling it hard but even though I knew that, I still happily signed my life away. After all, I get a fitness diary and fitness books in a sexy black case, who can resist?

Let me say, Fitness First is stunning! I marvel at the thought of their Platinum facility, now that is the club I shudder at joining, now I can't do that at regular Fitness First anymore. The bathroom facilities at Fitness First are quite incredible. A labyrinth of rows and rows of gorgeous wooden lockers which are locked and unlocked by pressing your membership card against the sensor. Instead of kids in bathers running around and wet toilet seats like at Broady Leisure Center, there are irons, hair dryers and other cool toys. There is a solarium and an aromatherapy steam room. A thought I had on the steam room. Perhaps Fitness First have hired an underwear model to lie in there all day, working on a similar theory to the membership consultant. Perhaps they swap him with another every hour to avoid pruning. Each time I have had a looksie there has been a stereotypically attractive guy lying on one of the wooden deck chairs. With his buff abs and pecs saying 'proximity to me will result in looking like me or sleeping with me or whatever your desires may be. I promise you the world with my short shorts and bleached smile!'

The set up for the showers perplexed me. The doors are not quite complete which allows slight vision of the women inside and the doors are made of smokey glass which shows a pink silhouette showering. Don't get me wrong, I conduct myself in a mature and respectful manner but after walking through rows of these showers, seeing flashes of skin and the shapes of naked women washing themselves on either side of me, let's just say I reached my stall feeling slightly flustered.

What perplexed me more and at this point I'll pause to stress that I may have become 'one of them' to a degree, I will never ever become 'one of them' which I am about to describe. There were women in the change rooms carefully examining their buts in the mirrors and spending a great deal of time putting on their make up before they worked out, before! I watched this behavior fascinated, like a researcher watches a pride of lions. With great care they applied foundation, eye make up and lip gloss before they went out into the gym to work out. 'Extraordinary,' *jots observations in notepad while crouched behind a log.*

All this being said, I do miss the personal touch to the Broady gym, knowing the instructors and other members. I am sad I won't be instructing there but instead in this impressive but sterile environment.