Waiting, just waiting. Because there’s nothing else to be done. Eating excessively has been tried and failed, regardless of it’s immense success in the past. Now I just sip water, move around every so often to ensure I am not locking up and write. I am managing to prevent the anxiety from escalating into an attack which I think is a great accomplishment in itself even if I am unable to rid my body of the anxiety completely. I am performing a delicate balancing act right now. I’m on the edge of tipping over the edge into a panic but keeping myself upright. While I do so I also gently look at the other side and wonder what I can do to stop the anxiety altogether. In the past, when panicking, I couldn’t think see such a wide picture as I see now. Now is an improvement because I am picking up the tools to manage it.
Enough positive optimism, I need to vent, dammit! Fuck this is a pain! Fuck off! Leave me the fuck alone you fucking arsehole anxiety! Ah, better (well not really).
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