It has been a while since my last post, 10 days. It may not seem like much but it really is with the life that I am living at present; so much is happening, internally and externally. Usually I don't blog until I have a clear idea of what to post about or a theme to tie it all together, to make it purposeful and logical. Usually I'll be working on an idea in my head for a few days before I allow it to escape into the big, wide world. Let's see what happens when I don't do that!
I have, about 5 times now, began blogging on a thought and not been able to keep up with it before the next one rushes in and out again and so on. It's not the usual way that my mind works and it is enough to make me dizzy. My thoughts are like bouncy balls at the moment, it feels like someone is opening up my head and throwing in a bouncy ball. When it first enters I go 'ahhh, Uni, let's think about that' but as it bounces around inside my skull it builds momentum, flying in all sorts of unpredictable directions that I just can't keep up and it is not in there a minute before it bounces out. It continues in this fashion, another ball is throw in and before it barely has a chance to hit the wall, another is thrown in, these 2 thoughts are bouncing around together in all directions, building speed, becoming more and more difficult to follow. Another enters, one leaves, 2 enters. And it goes on like that.
Through attempting to blog my thoughts, I have found the best thing to do when my mind gets this way is to let the thoughts come and go as they please, not trying to capture them. It has become clear that trying to capture them is so much more difficult than the racing thoughts themselves. The racing thoughts make me dizzy, trying to follow them makes me feel like I could faint. I want anything more to blog on something right now, finding all I can to avoid doing work. But I just can't do it when my thoughts are so hectic! Shame that.
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