I'm a blogger!

So here I am, blogging away when I should be doing my assignment that's due tomorrow! My justification is that by doing this, I will clear my mind and I will be sharper to do my stats and graphs. But the Jim Beam in my hand begs to differ.

Let's start with the blog's name, 'Sunbeams and Some Beans.' Although the song isn't very good, the meaning is fantastic. I seek out the sunbeams in my life, and the beans represent acting out of compassion to help another. Also, it's very cute, 'Sunbeams and Some Beans'...awww.

My eyes and my mind have been traveling the world lately. I find myself seeing and empathising with an individual's imagined experience in a country I can't even name. This way of thinking is becoming more and more apparent as I study social work and learn about the immense diversities of experiences in this world. Just as significant as the diversity of these experiences, the incredibleness, and awe-inspiring nature of these experiences is hot on the mind. I think about poverty, disease and war, I have no way of even beginning to understand what that experience must be like. Which leads me to think about my life, I look around my room, I see material things; a TV, a laptop, books and clothes, more importantly I see safety, warmth, security and love, in this bed, in these walls, in this country. What must it be like to have your basic human rights violated moment by moment? How do these people survive not only on a literal level but also in terms of their spirit and emotional and mental well being. I know to compare my life to theirs is like...well, you just can't do it.

I have been having experiences of anxiety lately. When this happens my thoughts say to me 'your life is so good, you shouldn't be struggling,' people are suffering through so much harder times, brought on by the prejudice and discriminates. Those who believe that someone doesn't deserve rights because of their 'color' or beliefs or whatever. Then I experience anger, mostly anger at people who cause the suffering and also anger or maybe just frustration at myself for experiencing this pain despite how privileged and fortunate I am, and how good my life is. Which is ridiculous, I can't beat myself up for experiencing anxiety because another person's experience might seem worse. My experience is my experience, no one, not even myself can say that it's wrong, or should be different. It is what it is.